"Being paralyzed wasn't a choice, my attitude is."

My blog is about living happier by seeing things differently.

Finding Meditation Hard? Try using this simple technique instead…

I first attempted meditation in my late 20s, thinking it would be a cool thing to do. I even thought it might get me a love interest being ‘cool and all that!’

The lotus position of sitting cross-legged and upright on a cushion was out of the question for me due to being paralysed. Insert link. So I would sit in a quiet place and attempt ‘meditation’ which lasted approximately two minutes.

My thoughts kept coming thick and fast and there was no chance I could sit without thinking for two minutes. I wanted peace, tranquility and blissful escapism. Come on; it cannot be that hard to sit and do nothing.

Dammit. Not only did my thoughts continue I swear they got louder and more frequent. I had to find an easier way, lucky I did.

What is mindfulness? | Mindfulness Series | Part 1

Mindfulness seems to be the latest buzzword, but what is mindfulness? Is it really so powerful it can help with depression, anxiety and even improve your health with just a few minutes a day? According to Google mindfulness is ‘a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.’ Here’s my definition of mindfulness Being aware of everything that is arising in…

Which of these 3 types are you?

I think climbing a mountain is quite a good metaphor for what we go through in life. As we know, mountains have many faces. Some faces are easier to climb along with a direct contrast, almost impossible to climb.

For many years it has been a gradual incline growing up, coping with life changes and learning more as I go. However, every now and again that incline turns into a rock face. Like at 18 years old I broke my neck and was left paralysed from the chest down with no hand function. This would hit anybody, hard. It would be like suddenly coming up against a brick wall and feel almost impossible to climb. Now, I believe in choices and when we hit with these cliff faces, we can either try to go around them or we can dig in and climb them.

There is a massive difference between the two. Trying to find your way around it would be like running around the bottom of the mountain hoping for a shortcut up to the next level. The pay rise, the dream job, the ideal partner or winning the lottery. These little step ups are great but you miss something more valuable than what you received from them.

You’re perfect, with some room for improvement

You’re perfect, with some room for improvement. What does this mean?

It means that right now you are perfect in every way, and there’s no other way you can be at this moment. Everything that has happened in your life either by direct experience or from the stories, beliefs and experiences of others that they have shared with you makes you exactly who you are today.

There is absolutely nothing you can do to make you any different than you are right this moment. Accept it!

How to deal with loud and aggressive people

We have all been at the mercy of someones anger and it is not nice, in fact it feels horrible. Even worse when there is no justification for them to aim their anger towards us. On the flip side whether we want to admit it or not we too have found ourselves frustrated and taken our anger out on somebody that did not deserve it.

It is handy to bear in mind that we can all be loud and aggressive when we care passionately about something. Like when a driver cuts in front of us on the road and we feel threatened or in danger in some way. It is normal conditioned human behavior to react for protection reasons.

Read more for the solution.

3 Reasons Why You Will Not Meditate

May 2014, I believed the only way I could escape my thoughts and painful feelings would be to completely shutdown and block all my feelings. A breakdown was on the cards and I believed I deserved it. After all, other people have breakdowns for a lot less than what I’m coping with. Why not me? I wanted a break. But I kept going. (I had recently become single which I wrote about in this blog, How I Learned to Forgive.)

It was a tough time. Very painful, possibly the hardest time of my life. It does show how much emotional pain hurts when even breaking my neck doesn’t compare.

At some point during that month I made a conscious decision to change. I was no longer going to be controlled by a constant stream of damaging and random thoughts running through my head. I couldn’t think straight let alone have the ability to accomplish anything beyond the normal daily chores.

Do you feel like you are always suffering? Ask yourself this question.

Anybody can be happy when things are going smoothly, you can pay your bills, in a secure relationship and your career is comfortable. It isn’t until something really sideswipes us to such an amount that we have no choice but to deal with it. Something that causes us a lot of pain and upset. Something that knocks us on our butt to such a degree that we see no way out. We feel like giving up and just allowing the world to…

What advice would I give my younger self based on what I know today?

During a recent interview I was asked what advice I would give to my younger self based on what I know today? That was easy. I never even had to think about it. “Read more books, watch less TV and appreciate time more than money.” It came out like a pre-defined script. But, I’ve been thinking about the question ever since and with a little time and reflection I would like to change my advice. Watching less TV could lead…

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